Family – Page 5 – Valerie's Voice

Florence

Another significant loss in 2020.

Florence would have been 100 years old Saturday, December 26, 2020.

She almost made it…She was still living by herself in her home of 52 years, where she died last Saturday…two weeks before her birthday.

Her house was one I always liked to go to, and she was a woman I always liked to visit.

She was like family to me…she was my aunt’s forever friend and they lived together since high school.

A photo of Florence on the left, and my Auntie Ag on the right, in 1997. Two remarkable women in my life.

She was there before I was born. She was there at our extended family Christmas’. She was there for the holidays, the confirmations, the graduations and the weddings. She was just always there, a part of the family.

Auntie Ag and Florence were dear friends. After my aunt died in 2004 we continued to keep in touch with Florence. Florence was an independent woman, and stubborn too, and insisted on staying in her own home by herself. Her mind was sharp and she took care of her finances until the end…but she was losing her hearing and that made communication difficult. But there are many fond memories.

God bless you Florence. May you Rest in Peace. You will be missed.

The Nineties

I had a delightful visit with my cousin and our 99-year-old aunt. She’s not really our aunt…but she’s been a part of the family since before my cousin or I were born so that makes her an aunt in our eyes.

My cousin picked up some Chow Mein and I brought flowers and we set her table – she still lives in her own home – and we enjoyed a meal together and visited. We had a great time. As I was leaving she asked me if I could mail something for her. She handed me an envelope and said it’s to the Publisher’s Clearing House. She’s been trying to win the jackpot for 47 years! So I dutifully put her letter in the mailbox, smiling all the way.

Her longevity reminded me of my grandfather, Charlie. He was 98 when he died. We would go visit him in the nursing home (he became blind so he had to live in a nursing home). We would bring him his favorite…M&M’s. I remember the nurses telling us M&M’s are not good for him because they spoil his appetite. I thought, he’s 98-years-old, if he wants M&M’s I’m happy to bring him some and let him enjoy them!

Grandpa Charlie and four great-grandchildren.

I wonder what I’ll be like when I’m in my 90’s?

Slow, Leisurely Walks

Over the weekend we were with my 92-year-old uncle. Uncle Bob is my dad’s youngest brother. He’s never been in the hospital; he’s never been in a car accident. He lives with his wife of almost 70 years (August 2020) in their own home near Brainerd, MN. My Auntie Joyce will be 90 in April. Bob sometimes gets his dates confused but Joyce will chime in with the correct ones. They have had their share of hardships over the years but they have weathered them well together. What a joy to be with them…in their beautiful home up north.

Trees line the driveway up to Uncle Bob’s home.

Gary and I went for a walk with Uncle Bob (Joyce stayed back). It was a slow, leisurely walk. As we walked I thought about leisurely walks with our two-year-old granddaughter up north last fall. Those walks with grandchildren are precious in a different way…they are slow walks because of their curiosity and exuberance.

92…2: opposite ends of the spectrum…both slow, leisurely walks but for different reasons.

Uncle Bob and Gary stop on our walk to clarify something.

Although Bob is in good health he has slowed down a lot (but he’s happy he doesn’t need a walker). We really enjoyed slowing down and walking with him, and visiting as we walked. My father died at age 55 and Uncle Bob tells us stories of their childhood and a lot of the kindnesses my dad showed his brother and others (and also about a few pranks he played too). Gary never met my father and has told Bob he thinks of him as the father-in-law he never had.

I am so grateful for these times together. Uncle Bob wanted us to come to visit them and talk about our upcoming trip to Norway and the family ties. Now they want us to come back after our trip to hear all the stories we’ll have. We certainly will. It’s such a gift to have Uncle Bob and Auntie Joyce in our lives.

A beautiful sky over the snow covered field on Uncle Bob’s property.

Cards, cards and more cards

In the past couple of months I have had two friends lose their husbands. I’m sorry for their loss. It is so incredibly sad.

One of the friends asked for memories to be sent to her, of her late husband, who was not very old. She wanted to compile a booklet for her young grandchildren to remember Grandpa. I thought it was a wonderful idea. It will be a very special gift to her, and her children and grandchildren, now and in the future.

Although I was 20 years old at the time when my dad died (young), I do not have a memory book about him, but I sure wish I did.

So I got the idea to go and look over the cards my mom received in 1974 when he passed away. I thought I had them, but I guess I don’t. I asked my brother and he doesn’t have them either. I do have cards from when Gary’s mother, father and brother passed, and when my mom passed. I read through them the other day. It was a special time of remembering people, however most cards offered loving condolences but few memories.

As I looked around the different places I might have stored the cards from my dad’s passing I found so many other cards I’ve kept over the years. I asked one friend what I should do with them and she said, “toss them!” I think I might…it’s hard…but I’m not sure of alternatives…

One of two boxes of cards from family and friends.

One box I call “love notes” – special cards people have sent to encourage me or thank me. One box is cards Gary and I have given each other over the years…that one I will keep for sure. Another box is sympathy cards, one box is wedding invitations over the years (fun to look at!) and two boxes are of random cards from family and friends, including some birthday cards…and that’s a whole other category.

A treasure chest of wedding invitations.

So, I’ll continue to figure out what to do: how to organize the ones I keep, and decide which ones to toss. And I’ll be asking others… what do they do?

Ninety and Beyond

We went to visit a special friend of the family…she is like a dear aunt…and she celebrated her 99^thbirthday on December 26^th. We went to offer her congratulations and wish her many happy birthday blessings for the year ahead.

Florence (99) and me. I purposely wore the Norwegian sweater that Florence and my aunt brought back for me from their 1984 trip to Norway.

Florence has a caretaker that comes to help her in the mornings but otherwise she lives on her own in a beautiful house she and my aunt (best friends for 70 years) bought together in 1968. I’ve written about their house before…it’s like stepping back in time…the house has the original gold, wool carpet…gold, heavy draperies…most of the olive green appliances(!)… and a worn linoleum floor in the kitchen. They bought the house by assuming the mortgage…it was only 2 years old when they moved in fifty years ago.

Florence talks about her various jobs she had, with wages that ranged from 33 cents an hour to her favorite job as a bookkeeper for 20 years, starting at $1.00 an hour. We wanted to ask her how she could survive financially after all these years and no pension but we didn’t. We just listened to her wonderful stories. We always enjoy our visits with her, and we always wonder how much longer she will be with us. She told us that her grandmother lived to be over 100 years old. We hope Florence will too.

Another family member in his 90’s is my Uncle Bob. Last month, during the Christmas season we spent time with my uncle, my dad’s brother. He is 92 years old and in good health and is still driving. We also enjoy visiting with him. I asked him his favorite Christmas memory and he told us this story:

As a child his parents (my grandparents) had very little money, and no money for Christmas presents. One Christmas, Bob’s brothers, Herb (my father) and Earl, who were several years older than Bob, found a beat-up old tricycle in the trash with a missing wheel. They repaired the trike, painted it and gave it to Bob. It was a very special gift – one that Bob has always remembered.

I love hearing stories of my father since he died so young (age 55 in 1974).

I relish and appreciate visiting with these two special people, Florence and Uncle Bob. Along with Bob’s wife, Auntie Joyce, they are the only people in the world who have known me all my life – since I was born. That is significant.

Time Capsule Letters

For those who recognize the acronym Y2K (Year 2 Thousand) I’m sure you recall the overall anxiety as the year 1999 came to a close. Some folks thought the end of the world was coming…at midnight!

Others, myself included, wondered if our computers would handle the change from 1999 to 2000, or would all the computers crash and we’d end up off the grid and lose all our data. These were our fears, of life as we knew it, changing drastically overnight. But we did survive: the computers worked well and changed over to the new century, and the world did not come to an end on that New Year’s Eve.

In those days, we traditionally celebrated NYE with the same family friends; adults and young adults and kids all together. Each year we would celebrate by eating Christmas leftovers and playing games.

On New Year’s Eve, 1999, we came up with the idea of writing time capsule letters. All nine of us wrote a letter without sharing it with the others. We sealed them and put them in the freezer! Where else? It’s a safe place we thought. These letters were to be opened in the year 2010…or on New Year’s Eve of 2009. I don’t remember what our 2010 letters said and I can’t believe I didn’t save them…but after reading our letters out loud to each other we enjoyed it so much we wrote time capsule letters again, to be opened in the year 2020…or the NYE of 2019.

As we visited our friends recently our letters appeared…brought out from a special storage box under the bed. This was an upgrade from the freezer storage system (which had led our youngest son to write on the outside of his sealed envelope….”Special Freezer proof time capsule envelope. Do not thaw until 2020.” Love that humor!)

As we read our letters a few days ago it was very interesting how many predictions came true, and how many amusing thoughts we all had written down. It was fun to read through them to those gathered there.

And yes, we did write more time capsule letters that evening…not to be opened until 2030, or the NYE of 2029.

Walking at the North Shore

Walking at a two-year-old “I want to stop and look at everything pace” is a wonderful way to walk…it slows us down and opens our eyes to see things we might not notice while walking at our normal pace. We enjoyed several of these walks with our grand-daughter and her mom and dad while they were here with us on the north shore. It was delightful.

After they went back home we continued our stay at the cabin for a few more days to enjoy more hiking and biking and relaxing. One trail we always hike is the Oberg Mountain Trail. It’s a rather short hike…2.2 miles round trip. You hike up, walk around a loop on top and witness great vistas of Lake Superior and of inland trees and Oberg Lake. It’s a favorite hike of ours.

We arrived at the trailhead early one morning and spent a good two hours meandering the top and sitting to enjoy the vistas – even stopping a couple of times to sit and enjoy a cup of coffee and muffin we brought along. We were pleasantly surprised at all the fall colors. We were not expecting these colors so early in the season.

Here is a photo essay from our hike on the Oberg Trail.

This is a vista point overlooking Lake Superior. It’s hard to photograph since it’s into the sun. The leaves have not changed along the shore of Lake Superior.

One of our coffee stops overlooking Lake Superior on the left and Mt. LeVeaux.

Such astounding beauty. It was breathtaking. Pictures, of course, do not do it justice. I am grateful for this opportunity to see this beautiful change of season, to feel it’s fresh air, and to smell the distinct fragrance of the fir trees, which also add the dark green contrast to the beautiful oranges and reds and yellows.

One Little Box

I was deep cleaning our bedroom closet recently and dusted off “a special box” on the top shelf. I wrote a poem about this box eight years ago. A few details have changed since then…the old Gateway Computer box has been placed inside a slightly larger fabric box for additional room, because now this fabric box contains 41 years of calendars and recorded history. I have shared this poem before, but I’ll share it again.

The original Gateway computer box, inside a larger fabric box.

One Little Box

In the bedroom closet upstairs, tucked away on the top shelf, is a box.

It’s an old Gateway computer box with the Holstein cow pattern, and it’s only about 14” X 18” and 6” deep.

It doesn’t take up much space, this one little box, but, if you open it up, out pops one great, big surprise! Thirty-three years of calendars, thirty-three years of life, thirty-three years of recorded history from one small family. It contains years of appointments, church activities, school and sports activities, vacation schedules, birthdays, anniversaries, deaths, dinners, all kinds of celebrations….

It reminds me of a Jack-In-The-Box. Each year it springs open, I add another calendar, force close the lid as it bursts with memories, and I put it away for safe keeping.

This one little box holds one big treasure.

And it’s amazing how little space this box takes, upstairs, tucked away on the top shelf of the bedroom closet.

The new fabric box that holds the original Gateway box
and additional calendars.

Memorial Day

Flags are gifted to military personnel family’s upon death. My mother had two flags, one from her father and one from my father.

A day set aside to remember and honor people who died while serving in the US Armed Forces.

Herb, my father, in Belgium, Army Air Corp. Photo found in mom’s collection. Although he died at a young age (55) he did come home from WW II.

Home Again

We arrived back to an empty house, after helping our son and his family move out of our home, to Colorado. We miss them.

A few haikus about our trip…

Adventure awaits
To Colorado they move
We will miss them so.

Our own caravan
Three vehicles together
All heading westward.

The view of the beautiful apartment complex where our son and family have settled.

Unload, unpack, rest
Moving is a lot of work
They are settled in.

Hiking in the park
The snow starts gently falling
Spring in the Rockies.

The spring/winter beauty of Rocky Mountain National Park.

Three moose on the move
Catching a glimpse through the trees
Many elk and birds.

A few of the many elk we saw in the park, and in town.

Visiting good friends
Retired and moved away
Fun to reconnect.

The Twin Sisters, a view from Ft. Colins, CO. Photo by Jayne L

The house is quiet
The children have moved away
It feels so empty.