Family – Page 5 – Valerie's Voice

Lancaster County

Lancaster County Pennsylvania is a unique spot in the US. My husband grew up on a small dairy farm in the rolling hills of this southeastern county of Pennsylvania, surrounded by more small dairy farms. It is very picturesque. There are a lot of Amish, Mennonites and Brethren that have farms and businesses and add to the uniqueness of this county in Pennsylvania.

Beautiful small (and large) farm markets are everywhere and we saw teams of mules in the fields, and horse and buggy’s on the streets. There are covered bridges, immaculate gardens, and narrow roads. And many, many beautiful old buildings and barns and houses.

Erb’s historic covered bridge (1887), on the backroads of Lancaster Co., PA.

One of the many farmer’s markets we saw on our drives.

A hard way of doing farm work, but looks charming.

On Sunday the family gathered at Gary’s sister’s farm. It was fun to be together and visit with one another (and I love all food at a potluck). Gary’s sister and her husband are dairy farmers, and they live in the house her husband grew up in. It is a lovely, old limestone house, well maintained, and the engraved wall plaque dates it to 1788.

Wall plate imbedded into the limestone wall…1788.

Each time we visit Pennsylvania we go see the farm where my husband grew up. A Mennonite family bought it thirty years ago. They have electricity, but are not allowed to drive cars…so they get around with the horse and buggy.

They are kind folks, and always welcome us into their home and invite us to look at all the changes they’ve made around the farm. They have a modern milking parlor, but do not make use of the data collection feature because they do not have a computer.

A previous photo of Gary’s childhood farm. photo by gb

Another farm we visited this year was a farm that had four generations of Bollinger’s living on it, from 1855 to 1998. The farm house and buildings were bought by a local man who restored the home and barn to its original appearance, and it is stunning.

The restored barn that once was owned by four generations of the Bollinger family. We know the barn was built prior to 1830.

It was wonderful to see all he had done. For example, the brick house had been painted with three layers of white paint and it was stripped to the original brick, and repointed (grout redone).

The beautifully, restored house next to a creek.

Another example is the inside of the barn. It was refurbished and they added a restroom and have family gatherings and church events in it. We are grateful he and his wife are enjoying this historic place, and at times with their 41 grandchildren!

Inside the old, restored barn…a wonderful event space for the family,.

Repainted barn door with original, iron hardware.

The barn is also re-landscaped on the outside.

There is so much history in the area. Gary likes researching his genealogy, and has traced his roots back to Rudolph Bollinger who arrived in Pennsylvania from Switzerland around 1720.

Julius Sturgis Pretzel Bakery, founded in 1861, is the first commercial pretzel bakery in America, in Lititz, PA.

The Lititz Inn and Spa, built in 1764, an historic inn in Lititz, PA.

An old church near Linden Hall, an all girl’s school, founded in 1746, in Lititz, PA.

We enjoyed seeing friends who drove down from New Hampshire and joined us for a couple of days. It was fun showing them around.

It’s always proper to eat some local fare when visiting this area, such as shoo-fly pie, tomato pie, and lots and lots of ice cream from the local dairies. Not too hard to do!

Another restored door on the old Bollinger barn.

A Treasure Hunt

I do well with order. I like to keep a tidy house, with a place for everything and everything in its place. However, right now I am living in the “messy middle” as my friend calls it, because I am charged with going through many boxes of my late aunt’s possessions. “I’m going on a treasure hunt,” of sorts.

My aunt Ag & Florence – in 1984 I believe. Most photos lack dates and identification!

My aunt died is 2004, but her long-time friend and housemate lived in the house they owned together since 1968. The house was passed on to Florence when Auntie Ag died. Florence lived another 16 years in that house (after Ag’s death), and Florence died in their home at age 99.

So it was up to Florence’s family to clear out, and clean up, the house. They carefully put all the items that belonged to Aggie in boxes to be given to our family. I was chosen as the point person, so over a dozen hefty boxes were delivered last week, to my doorstep. Each individual box to be sorted, organized, and then distributed.

My house is a mess! I have tablecloths and linens on the dining room table…my grandma’s wedding dress hanging in the office,

my kitchen table and counter tops full of old photos, another room with a table set up and all kinds of Norwegian folk art and other miscellaneous items on top of it. There is a large box of jewelry, and another large box of pictures off the walls, a box of books and a box of Christmas plates…and more boxes in the garage…

So for now, I am going through her stuff, one box at a time, and setting it out for her niece and nephews (my cousins) to pick out what they want from the collections. In my effort to declutter my own things I’m in the mindset to not keep much. I hope I don’t regret it but I think a few mementos, and some photos, will suffice.

That being said, I did succeed in finding a most valuable treasure within the boxes. I opened up an inconspicuous, old, Fanny Farmer candy box and discovered it was full of hand-written letters, from my father to his mother and father, and sister and brothers.

My father sent these letters back home from the army during WWII. I did not know the letters existed, all dated 1942 or 1943. I’ve been reading each one and learning a bit about this man, my father, who died at a young age (55 years old). I was 20.

I enjoyed that some letters were tied up with ribbon.

These letters are precious. They will be kept, read and reread, and cherished.

I set out on a treasure hunt, and found a fortune.

71 Years

Uncle Bob (my dad’s younger brother) and his bride, Aunt Joyce…married 71 years ago today. I’m grateful for their testimony of much love and support for each other.

Happy Anniversary!

A Visit to North Carolina

Visiting someplace new is always fun. And staying in a private home instead of a hotel is delightful. And having grandchildren at that home is the best!

We spent eight days in a suburb south of Charlotte, North Carolina visiting our youngest son and his wife and two children. They recently moved into a new home there, leaving a two-bedroom apartment in Colorado. It was great to see their new house and their neighborhood, to actually see their faces to know how they are doing, and to hug the grandchildren.

I enjoyed choosing a photo – or two – every day to send a “Photo of the Day” to our other son and his family back in Minnesota. It gave a glimpse of some of the things we were doing during our time away…like going to a fireworks display on the fourth of July, or going to the neighborhood swimming pool, building a workbench,

working on art projects, playing dominos, going to parks and playgrounds, going on a picnic, going out for ice cream.

And simply sitting on the front porch every morning, drinking our coffee, waiting for the kiddos to wake up and come down to greet us each day. Hopefully creating memories for the grandchildren.

Their house is next to a wooded lot so we saw deer several times, and lots of birds. We heard interesting creatures (insects and/or frogs) at night when we ate dinner on the veranda, in the back of the house.

The covered veranda at the back of the house.

As we sat on the veranda on our last night before returning to Minnesota, we saw two fawns and a mama deer in the woods. We talked about how curious we were as to what was over the hill and down the road in the wooded area.

The “Private Drive, NO TRESPASSING” sign.

A “Private Drive, NO TRESPASSING” sign was posted at the entrance to the driveway leading into the property, at the end of the cul-de-sac, next to our son’s property. We had seen little activity there over the past week. Our son and daughter-in-love had not ventured past the private property sign since they moved in, about a month ago. We had been there only a week and were curious!

The wooded property at the end of the cut-de-sac.

So Andrea and I decided to venture down the drive that last night. We bravely walked down the road, arm in arm. The deer saw us and ran away. We approached a modest house on a lake, and took a look at the surroundings. Our curiosity satisfied, we turned around and walked back up the drive. Just then we saw a car’s headlights! The occupants were coming down the drive.

We were busted!!!

After all the times of no activity… and then…here they come when we are trespassing.

Our son’s house next to the neighboring, wooded lot.

The car stops, of course, and two young men in their 20’s rolled down their windows. We greeted them and told them we are from the house right past their driveway and we were just curious to see what was down the gravel road. Thankfully they were very nice about it. After a little small talk we continued on, walking very quickly back to the veranda where our guys were waiting, curious to hear what happened. They had seen the car go into the drive and wondered what kind of reception we’d get.

We settled back on the veranda, let out a sigh of relief, and then had a good laugh.

Another Frigid Afternoon

With temperatures predicted to dip way below zero (15 to 25 degrees below) over the weekend we decided it might be a good time to find a project to work on inside our warm house.

The one that came to mind was…photos! The ever-looming photos, a project we kept saying we’ll work on when we retire – even after we were retired.

But, at last, the timing felt right.

Since 1982 (when our first son was born) I dutifully put photos in albums in chronological order. I have several mismatched albums of all different sizes, one for each year, through the kids high school years. Then digital cameras became the norm and now photos are stored on the computer.

But still we had a few photos printed, plus my mom had duplicates of our sons that she gave back to us, and Gary’s sister gave us back all the photos we gave her of the kids when they were growing up, and there were stray photos for various reasons in different areas of the house and some old, framed photos to take out of the frame, some very old black and white photos that date way back etc., etc., etc. We had a lot of organizing to do.

So we set up our six-foot folding table in a downstairs room, unfolded two folding chairs, found archival pens, extra envelopes, a scissors, notepad and pen, and started in. We brought everything to the central work station. working diligently for several hours the first day. We stopped for lunch and a quick walk in the subzero temperatures, and then back at it. (Won’t the kids be glad someday!)

Our mismatched photo albums in chronological order.

The next day we started in again and did get the organizing done, cleaned off the shelf area in the closet where the albums are kept, and put the albums back in place.

Our next step is to go through each album and weed out the unwanted/not-so-good pictures…and who knows, maybe even combine a few albums together?

The next steps may be more enjoyable. However, there are still many hours left on this project…but the weather forecast is for continued cold temperatures for a few more days, so that will be a helpful motivator.

And then there are the slides………

A Christmas Festival

Christmas Festival took on a whole new meaning this year… when I hear those two words together “Christmas Festival” my mind immediately thinks of the 100+ year old annual Christmas concert at St. Olaf College. But this year the Bollinger Family held its own Christmas Festival…created because of the pandemic as a safe way for celebrating Christmas together with multiple families and young energetic children.

My daughter-in-love came up with this great idea and it was fun planning it with her. She worked hard to make it happen. We helped where we could ahead of time.

The day of the festival we gathered together early one December afternoon, which ended up being a very mild day…almost 40 degrees and no wind…a beautiful blessing. The weather was tolerable for staying outdoors for five hours! We had propane heaters in one area to warm up if necessary… the adults used it a few times but not the kids – they were active enough to stay warm the entire time!

The yard was decorated with garland, lights and lanterns, and a Christmas tree which came to life at dusk…on one of the shortest days of the year.

The table was covered with a red tablecloth and decorated with lights, mini-trees and ornaments for the crock-pots of chili.

There was games and activities and a very special Nativity Story Walk all planned out for the children, which they hardily enjoyed.

Painting a Happy Birthday banner for Jesus.

Find the stars – a Story Walk to the manger scene.

Towards dusk we started fires in two fire pits. We enjoyed eating our chili dinner from compostable bowls around the bon fires.

We brought along our roasting sticks to roast marshmallows and make s’mores for dessert…all with Christmas music sounding through speakers in the back ground.

The grandchildren (and grand-dog Charlie) had a good time celebrating together while social distancing and masking up. I trust the grandchildren will remember this Christmas Festival for years to come. I know I will. The adults had a great time too!

Merry Christmas!

Florence

Another significant loss in 2020.

Florence would have been 100 years old Saturday, December 26, 2020.

She almost made it…She was still living by herself in her home of 52 years, where she died last Saturday…two weeks before her birthday.

Her house was one I always liked to go to, and she was a woman I always liked to visit.

She was like family to me…she was my aunt’s forever friend and they lived together since high school.

A photo of Florence on the left, and my Auntie Ag on the right, in 1997. Two remarkable women in my life.

She was there before I was born. She was there at our extended family Christmas’. She was there for the holidays, the confirmations, the graduations and the weddings. She was just always there, a part of the family.

Auntie Ag and Florence were dear friends. After my aunt died in 2004 we continued to keep in touch with Florence. Florence was an independent woman, and stubborn too, and insisted on staying in her own home by herself. Her mind was sharp and she took care of her finances until the end…but she was losing her hearing and that made communication difficult. But there are many fond memories.

God bless you Florence. May you Rest in Peace. You will be missed.

The Nineties

I had a delightful visit with my cousin and our 99-year-old aunt. She’s not really our aunt…but she’s been a part of the family since before my cousin or I were born so that makes her an aunt in our eyes.

My cousin picked up some Chow Mein and I brought flowers and we set her table – she still lives in her own home – and we enjoyed a meal together and visited. We had a great time. As I was leaving she asked me if I could mail something for her. She handed me an envelope and said it’s to the Publisher’s Clearing House. She’s been trying to win the jackpot for 47 years! So I dutifully put her letter in the mailbox, smiling all the way.

Her longevity reminded me of my grandfather, Charlie. He was 98 when he died. We would go visit him in the nursing home (he became blind so he had to live in a nursing home). We would bring him his favorite…M&M’s. I remember the nurses telling us M&M’s are not good for him because they spoil his appetite. I thought, he’s 98-years-old, if he wants M&M’s I’m happy to bring him some and let him enjoy them!

Grandpa Charlie and four great-grandchildren.

I wonder what I’ll be like when I’m in my 90’s?

Slow, Leisurely Walks

Over the weekend we were with my 92-year-old uncle. Uncle Bob is my dad’s youngest brother. He’s never been in the hospital; he’s never been in a car accident. He lives with his wife of almost 70 years (August 2020) in their own home near Brainerd, MN. My Auntie Joyce will be 90 in April. Bob sometimes gets his dates confused but Joyce will chime in with the correct ones. They have had their share of hardships over the years but they have weathered them well together. What a joy to be with them…in their beautiful home up north.

Trees line the driveway up to Uncle Bob’s home.

Gary and I went for a walk with Uncle Bob (Joyce stayed back). It was a slow, leisurely walk. As we walked I thought about leisurely walks with our two-year-old granddaughter up north last fall. Those walks with grandchildren are precious in a different way…they are slow walks because of their curiosity and exuberance.

92…2: opposite ends of the spectrum…both slow, leisurely walks but for different reasons.

Uncle Bob and Gary stop on our walk to clarify something.

Although Bob is in good health he has slowed down a lot (but he’s happy he doesn’t need a walker). We really enjoyed slowing down and walking with him, and visiting as we walked. My father died at age 55 and Uncle Bob tells us stories of their childhood and a lot of the kindnesses my dad showed his brother and others (and also about a few pranks he played too). Gary never met my father and has told Bob he thinks of him as the father-in-law he never had.

I am so grateful for these times together. Uncle Bob wanted us to come to visit them and talk about our upcoming trip to Norway and the family ties. Now they want us to come back after our trip to hear all the stories we’ll have. We certainly will. It’s such a gift to have Uncle Bob and Auntie Joyce in our lives.

A beautiful sky over the snow covered field on Uncle Bob’s property.

Cards, cards and more cards

In the past couple of months I have had two friends lose their husbands. I’m sorry for their loss. It is so incredibly sad.

One of the friends asked for memories to be sent to her, of her late husband, who was not very old. She wanted to compile a booklet for her young grandchildren to remember Grandpa. I thought it was a wonderful idea. It will be a very special gift to her, and her children and grandchildren, now and in the future.

Although I was 20 years old at the time when my dad died (young), I do not have a memory book about him, but I sure wish I did.

So I got the idea to go and look over the cards my mom received in 1974 when he passed away. I thought I had them, but I guess I don’t. I asked my brother and he doesn’t have them either. I do have cards from when Gary’s mother, father and brother passed, and when my mom passed. I read through them the other day. It was a special time of remembering people, however most cards offered loving condolences but few memories.

As I looked around the different places I might have stored the cards from my dad’s passing I found so many other cards I’ve kept over the years. I asked one friend what I should do with them and she said, “toss them!” I think I might…it’s hard…but I’m not sure of alternatives…

One of two boxes of cards from family and friends.

One box I call “love notes” – special cards people have sent to encourage me or thank me. One box is cards Gary and I have given each other over the years…that one I will keep for sure. Another box is sympathy cards, one box is wedding invitations over the years (fun to look at!) and two boxes are of random cards from family and friends, including some birthday cards…and that’s a whole other category.

A treasure chest of wedding invitations.

So, I’ll continue to figure out what to do: how to organize the ones I keep, and decide which ones to toss. And I’ll be asking others… what do they do?