Family – Page 5 – Valerie's Voice

A Visit to North Carolina

Visiting someplace new is always fun. And staying in a private home instead of a hotel is delightful. And having grandchildren at that home is the best!

We spent eight days in a suburb south of Charlotte, North Carolina visiting our youngest son and his wife and two children. They recently moved into a new home there, leaving a two-bedroom apartment in Colorado. It was great to see their new house and their neighborhood, to actually see their faces to know how they are doing, and to hug the grandchildren.

I enjoyed choosing a photo – or two – every day to send a “Photo of the Day” to our other son and his family back in Minnesota. It gave a glimpse of some of the things we were doing during our time away…like going to a fireworks display on the fourth of July, or going to the neighborhood swimming pool, building a workbench,

working on art projects, playing dominos, going to parks and playgrounds, going on a picnic, going out for ice cream.

And simply sitting on the front porch every morning, drinking our coffee, waiting for the kiddos to wake up and come down to greet us each day. Hopefully creating memories for the grandchildren.

Their house is next to a wooded lot so we saw deer several times, and lots of birds. We heard interesting creatures (insects and/or frogs) at night when we ate dinner on the veranda, in the back of the house.

The covered veranda at the back of the house.

As we sat on the veranda on our last night before returning to Minnesota, we saw two fawns and a mama deer in the woods. We talked about how curious we were as to what was over the hill and down the road in the wooded area.

The “Private Drive, NO TRESPASSING” sign.

A “Private Drive, NO TRESPASSING” sign was posted at the entrance to the driveway leading into the property, at the end of the cul-de-sac, next to our son’s property. We had seen little activity there over the past week. Our son and daughter-in-love had not ventured past the private property sign since they moved in, about a month ago. We had been there only a week and were curious!

The wooded property at the end of the cut-de-sac.

So Andrea and I decided to venture down the drive that last night. We bravely walked down the road, arm in arm. The deer saw us and ran away. We approached a modest house on a lake, and took a look at the surroundings. Our curiosity satisfied, we turned around and walked back up the drive. Just then we saw a car’s headlights! The occupants were coming down the drive.

We were busted!!!

After all the times of no activity… and then…here they come when we are trespassing.

Our son’s house next to the neighboring, wooded lot.

The car stops, of course, and two young men in their 20’s rolled down their windows. We greeted them and told them we are from the house right past their driveway and we were just curious to see what was down the gravel road. Thankfully they were very nice about it. After a little small talk we continued on, walking very quickly back to the veranda where our guys were waiting, curious to hear what happened. They had seen the car go into the drive and wondered what kind of reception we’d get.

We settled back on the veranda, let out a sigh of relief, and then had a good laugh.

Another Frigid Afternoon

With temperatures predicted to dip way below zero (15 to 25 degrees below) over the weekend we decided it might be a good time to find a project to work on inside our warm house.

The one that came to mind was…photos! The ever-looming photos, a project we kept saying we’ll work on when we retire – even after we were retired.

But, at last, the timing felt right.

Since 1982 (when our first son was born) I dutifully put photos in albums in chronological order. I have several mismatched albums of all different sizes, one for each year, through the kids high school years. Then digital cameras became the norm and now photos are stored on the computer.

But still we had a few photos printed, plus my mom had duplicates of our sons that she gave back to us, and Gary’s sister gave us back all the photos we gave her of the kids when they were growing up, and there were stray photos for various reasons in different areas of the house and some old, framed photos to take out of the frame, some very old black and white photos that date way back etc., etc., etc. We had a lot of organizing to do.

So we set up our six-foot folding table in a downstairs room, unfolded two folding chairs, found archival pens, extra envelopes, a scissors, notepad and pen, and started in. We brought everything to the central work station. working diligently for several hours the first day. We stopped for lunch and a quick walk in the subzero temperatures, and then back at it. (Won’t the kids be glad someday!)

Our mismatched photo albums in chronological order.

The next day we started in again and did get the organizing done, cleaned off the shelf area in the closet where the albums are kept, and put the albums back in place.

Our next step is to go through each album and weed out the unwanted/not-so-good pictures…and who knows, maybe even combine a few albums together?

The next steps may be more enjoyable. However, there are still many hours left on this project…but the weather forecast is for continued cold temperatures for a few more days, so that will be a helpful motivator.

And then there are the slides………

A Christmas Festival

Christmas Festival took on a whole new meaning this year… when I hear those two words together “Christmas Festival” my mind immediately thinks of the 100+ year old annual Christmas concert at St. Olaf College. But this year the Bollinger Family held its own Christmas Festival…created because of the pandemic as a safe way for celebrating Christmas together with multiple families and young energetic children.

My daughter-in-love came up with this great idea and it was fun planning it with her. She worked hard to make it happen. We helped where we could ahead of time.

The day of the festival we gathered together early one December afternoon, which ended up being a very mild day…almost 40 degrees and no wind…a beautiful blessing. The weather was tolerable for staying outdoors for five hours! We had propane heaters in one area to warm up if necessary… the adults used it a few times but not the kids – they were active enough to stay warm the entire time!

The yard was decorated with garland, lights and lanterns, and a Christmas tree which came to life at dusk…on one of the shortest days of the year.

The table was covered with a red tablecloth and decorated with lights, mini-trees and ornaments for the crock-pots of chili.

There was games and activities and a very special Nativity Story Walk all planned out for the children, which they hardily enjoyed.

Painting a Happy Birthday banner for Jesus.

Find the stars – a Story Walk to the manger scene.

Towards dusk we started fires in two fire pits. We enjoyed eating our chili dinner from compostable bowls around the bon fires.

We brought along our roasting sticks to roast marshmallows and make s’mores for dessert…all with Christmas music sounding through speakers in the back ground.

The grandchildren (and grand-dog Charlie) had a good time celebrating together while social distancing and masking up. I trust the grandchildren will remember this Christmas Festival for years to come. I know I will. The adults had a great time too!

Merry Christmas!

Florence

Another significant loss in 2020.

Florence would have been 100 years old Saturday, December 26, 2020.

She almost made it…She was still living by herself in her home of 52 years, where she died last Saturday…two weeks before her birthday.

Her house was one I always liked to go to, and she was a woman I always liked to visit.

She was like family to me…she was my aunt’s forever friend and they lived together since high school.

A photo of Florence on the left, and my Auntie Ag on the right, in 1997. Two remarkable women in my life.

She was there before I was born. She was there at our extended family Christmas’. She was there for the holidays, the confirmations, the graduations and the weddings. She was just always there, a part of the family.

Auntie Ag and Florence were dear friends. After my aunt died in 2004 we continued to keep in touch with Florence. Florence was an independent woman, and stubborn too, and insisted on staying in her own home by herself. Her mind was sharp and she took care of her finances until the end…but she was losing her hearing and that made communication difficult. But there are many fond memories.

God bless you Florence. May you Rest in Peace. You will be missed.

The Nineties

I had a delightful visit with my cousin and our 99-year-old aunt. She’s not really our aunt…but she’s been a part of the family since before my cousin or I were born so that makes her an aunt in our eyes.

My cousin picked up some Chow Mein and I brought flowers and we set her table – she still lives in her own home – and we enjoyed a meal together and visited. We had a great time. As I was leaving she asked me if I could mail something for her. She handed me an envelope and said it’s to the Publisher’s Clearing House. She’s been trying to win the jackpot for 47 years! So I dutifully put her letter in the mailbox, smiling all the way.

Her longevity reminded me of my grandfather, Charlie. He was 98 when he died. We would go visit him in the nursing home (he became blind so he had to live in a nursing home). We would bring him his favorite…M&M’s. I remember the nurses telling us M&M’s are not good for him because they spoil his appetite. I thought, he’s 98-years-old, if he wants M&M’s I’m happy to bring him some and let him enjoy them!

Grandpa Charlie and four great-grandchildren.

I wonder what I’ll be like when I’m in my 90’s?

Slow, Leisurely Walks

Over the weekend we were with my 92-year-old uncle. Uncle Bob is my dad’s youngest brother. He’s never been in the hospital; he’s never been in a car accident. He lives with his wife of almost 70 years (August 2020) in their own home near Brainerd, MN. My Auntie Joyce will be 90 in April. Bob sometimes gets his dates confused but Joyce will chime in with the correct ones. They have had their share of hardships over the years but they have weathered them well together. What a joy to be with them…in their beautiful home up north.

Trees line the driveway up to Uncle Bob’s home.

Gary and I went for a walk with Uncle Bob (Joyce stayed back). It was a slow, leisurely walk. As we walked I thought about leisurely walks with our two-year-old granddaughter up north last fall. Those walks with grandchildren are precious in a different way…they are slow walks because of their curiosity and exuberance.

92…2: opposite ends of the spectrum…both slow, leisurely walks but for different reasons.

Uncle Bob and Gary stop on our walk to clarify something.

Although Bob is in good health he has slowed down a lot (but he’s happy he doesn’t need a walker). We really enjoyed slowing down and walking with him, and visiting as we walked. My father died at age 55 and Uncle Bob tells us stories of their childhood and a lot of the kindnesses my dad showed his brother and others (and also about a few pranks he played too). Gary never met my father and has told Bob he thinks of him as the father-in-law he never had.

I am so grateful for these times together. Uncle Bob wanted us to come to visit them and talk about our upcoming trip to Norway and the family ties. Now they want us to come back after our trip to hear all the stories we’ll have. We certainly will. It’s such a gift to have Uncle Bob and Auntie Joyce in our lives.

A beautiful sky over the snow covered field on Uncle Bob’s property.

Cards, cards and more cards

In the past couple of months I have had two friends lose their husbands. I’m sorry for their loss. It is so incredibly sad.

One of the friends asked for memories to be sent to her, of her late husband, who was not very old. She wanted to compile a booklet for her young grandchildren to remember Grandpa. I thought it was a wonderful idea. It will be a very special gift to her, and her children and grandchildren, now and in the future.

Although I was 20 years old at the time when my dad died (young), I do not have a memory book about him, but I sure wish I did.

So I got the idea to go and look over the cards my mom received in 1974 when he passed away. I thought I had them, but I guess I don’t. I asked my brother and he doesn’t have them either. I do have cards from when Gary’s mother, father and brother passed, and when my mom passed. I read through them the other day. It was a special time of remembering people, however most cards offered loving condolences but few memories.

As I looked around the different places I might have stored the cards from my dad’s passing I found so many other cards I’ve kept over the years. I asked one friend what I should do with them and she said, “toss them!” I think I might…it’s hard…but I’m not sure of alternatives…

One of two boxes of cards from family and friends.

One box I call “love notes” – special cards people have sent to encourage me or thank me. One box is cards Gary and I have given each other over the years…that one I will keep for sure. Another box is sympathy cards, one box is wedding invitations over the years (fun to look at!) and two boxes are of random cards from family and friends, including some birthday cards…and that’s a whole other category.

A treasure chest of wedding invitations.

So, I’ll continue to figure out what to do: how to organize the ones I keep, and decide which ones to toss. And I’ll be asking others… what do they do?

Ninety and Beyond

We went to visit a special friend of the family…she is like a dear aunt…and she celebrated her 99^thbirthday on December 26^th. We went to offer her congratulations and wish her many happy birthday blessings for the year ahead.

Florence (99) and me. I purposely wore the Norwegian sweater that Florence and my aunt brought back for me from their 1984 trip to Norway.

Florence has a caretaker that comes to help her in the mornings but otherwise she lives on her own in a beautiful house she and my aunt (best friends for 70 years) bought together in 1968. I’ve written about their house before…it’s like stepping back in time…the house has the original gold, wool carpet…gold, heavy draperies…most of the olive green appliances(!)… and a worn linoleum floor in the kitchen. They bought the house by assuming the mortgage…it was only 2 years old when they moved in fifty years ago.

Florence talks about her various jobs she had, with wages that ranged from 33 cents an hour to her favorite job as a bookkeeper for 20 years, starting at $1.00 an hour. We wanted to ask her how she could survive financially after all these years and no pension but we didn’t. We just listened to her wonderful stories. We always enjoy our visits with her, and we always wonder how much longer she will be with us. She told us that her grandmother lived to be over 100 years old. We hope Florence will too.

Another family member in his 90’s is my Uncle Bob. Last month, during the Christmas season we spent time with my uncle, my dad’s brother. He is 92 years old and in good health and is still driving. We also enjoy visiting with him. I asked him his favorite Christmas memory and he told us this story:

As a child his parents (my grandparents) had very little money, and no money for Christmas presents. One Christmas, Bob’s brothers, Herb (my father) and Earl, who were several years older than Bob, found a beat-up old tricycle in the trash with a missing wheel. They repaired the trike, painted it and gave it to Bob. It was a very special gift – one that Bob has always remembered.

I love hearing stories of my father since he died so young (age 55 in 1974).

I relish and appreciate visiting with these two special people, Florence and Uncle Bob. Along with Bob’s wife, Auntie Joyce, they are the only people in the world who have known me all my life – since I was born. That is significant.

Time Capsule Letters

For those who recognize the acronym Y2K (Year 2 Thousand) I’m sure you recall the overall anxiety as the year 1999 came to a close. Some folks thought the end of the world was coming…at midnight!

Others, myself included, wondered if our computers would handle the change from 1999 to 2000, or would all the computers crash and we’d end up off the grid and lose all our data. These were our fears, of life as we knew it, changing drastically overnight. But we did survive: the computers worked well and changed over to the new century, and the world did not come to an end on that New Year’s Eve.

In those days, we traditionally celebrated NYE with the same family friends; adults and young adults and kids all together. Each year we would celebrate by eating Christmas leftovers and playing games.

On New Year’s Eve, 1999, we came up with the idea of writing time capsule letters. All nine of us wrote a letter without sharing it with the others. We sealed them and put them in the freezer! Where else? It’s a safe place we thought. These letters were to be opened in the year 2010…or on New Year’s Eve of 2009. I don’t remember what our 2010 letters said and I can’t believe I didn’t save them…but after reading our letters out loud to each other we enjoyed it so much we wrote time capsule letters again, to be opened in the year 2020…or the NYE of 2019.

As we visited our friends recently our letters appeared…brought out from a special storage box under the bed. This was an upgrade from the freezer storage system (which had led our youngest son to write on the outside of his sealed envelope….”Special Freezer proof time capsule envelope. Do not thaw until 2020.” Love that humor!)

As we read our letters a few days ago it was very interesting how many predictions came true, and how many amusing thoughts we all had written down. It was fun to read through them to those gathered there.

And yes, we did write more time capsule letters that evening…not to be opened until 2030, or the NYE of 2029.

Walking at the North Shore

Walking at a two-year-old “I want to stop and look at everything pace” is a wonderful way to walk…it slows us down and opens our eyes to see things we might not notice while walking at our normal pace. We enjoyed several of these walks with our grand-daughter and her mom and dad while they were here with us on the north shore. It was delightful.

After they went back home we continued our stay at the cabin for a few more days to enjoy more hiking and biking and relaxing. One trail we always hike is the Oberg Mountain Trail. It’s a rather short hike…2.2 miles round trip. You hike up, walk around a loop on top and witness great vistas of Lake Superior and of inland trees and Oberg Lake. It’s a favorite hike of ours.

We arrived at the trailhead early one morning and spent a good two hours meandering the top and sitting to enjoy the vistas – even stopping a couple of times to sit and enjoy a cup of coffee and muffin we brought along. We were pleasantly surprised at all the fall colors. We were not expecting these colors so early in the season.

Here is a photo essay from our hike on the Oberg Trail.

This is a vista point overlooking Lake Superior. It’s hard to photograph since it’s into the sun. The leaves have not changed along the shore of Lake Superior.

One of our coffee stops overlooking Lake Superior on the left and Mt. LeVeaux.

Such astounding beauty. It was breathtaking. Pictures, of course, do not do it justice. I am grateful for this opportunity to see this beautiful change of season, to feel it’s fresh air, and to smell the distinct fragrance of the fir trees, which also add the dark green contrast to the beautiful oranges and reds and yellows.